What do you say?

What do you say when someone asks how many kids you have? I say 'one' and I feel neglectful of the gift we call our guardian angel. I say 'two' and know I have to say, "two, but one living" and that always stops people in their tracks and either creates awkward silence which leads to having to tell the whole story or it does the complete opposite and is a conversation killer. The other question is when I am out and about and people look at Isaac and ask, "Is he your only child?"

I realize this may not seem like a big deal to many, but you have no idea how much I wrestle with this issue. I WANT to tell people I have two kids. I want to meet others who have been through the same or similar circumstances. But do you have any idea how awkward or hard it is to explain it? Shortly after we lost Angelina, I would tell people that I have two kids but follow it with "two but one living" because the questions that typically followed were, "Oh, how old is your second?" or "Where is your second child?" (because obviously they saw Isaac) etc...so to avoid the person from feeling weird or bad for asking, I would have to follow up with what happened and then it was a conversation killer. I know some may think, "just say two" but it is so much deeper than that, it's hard to explain. Angelina has forever changed our lives, I don't want others to think our life is back to "normal" now because it has been a few months, because let me tell you, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.