Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sandwiched between two holidays

I have been meaning to post, but obviously haven't. Around Thanksgiving, I wanted to write my feelings in regards to how grateful I am to be blessed with Angelina and to have gone through what we did. Like I have said many times before, I am grateful for going through our experience, but I never want to go through it again. Angelina is our baby girl in heaven, and I think about her daily.

In reference to the title of this post, I feel sandwiched between two holidays. Thanksgiving was one where I was extremely grateful for Angelina, and for the knowledge we have of the gospel, and for the love and support and comfort we felt and continue to feel from many different sources. And soon Christmas will be upon us. Last year, we found out on Christmas day that I was pregnant with Angelina. It was a definite shock and surprise but an extremely joyous one, nonetheless. However, this year, it is the official "one year mark" of everything we went through. And surprisingly, a very hard reality to think about and face. Perhaps it is hard because I am still not pregnant. Or perhaps it is hard because the time of year reminds me of the previous year. Or... perhaps it is just hard.