Where to turn...

The other night while we were sitting down for dinner, I had the thought, "we should have a baby about two and a half months old right now with us at this table." Obviously this thought could lead to two different paths... the first being "but we don't" which would inevitably lead to negative, self-pity thoughts. And the second path being a more positive, constructive, confidence in the knowledge we have been given because of our beliefs path.

Ultimately, I believe we need to grieve our loss. But I believe we can allow that grievance to make us stronger or pull us down. And I choose to let our loss be a spot of happiness, peace, and comfort because we know we will be with our baby girl again. It doesn't make the loss less or easier, but it makes it bearable. And I know as I focus on what we know and how we felt when she was born, I won't allow myself to spiral downwards in a self-pity cycle.

My dear friend, Emily, whom I admire and love very much, posted this on her blog and I am passing it along....I think it sums up this post perfectly.

"... Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy." -Kahlil Gibran